Sometimes this attitude comes from not having your needs met while younger, or it could be years of accumulated resentment in the relationship reaching a boiling point. It’s alright to have strong convictions about something, but your partner deserves to be heard as well. Although being there for each other through the tough stuff is an important part of a relationship, so too is celebrating each other’s achievements. “Often we are barely listening when our partner shares something good with us,” Pawelski says.
“When one or both partners are not invested in the relationship and when it’s held together due to convenience rather than love, it’s often best to move on,” says Dr. Manly. To have the fulfillment and love in your partnership, it’s necessary to have the frustration and discord. But sometimes, identifying both your and your partner’s needs can feel like deciphering a secret code. This is where open communication and self-reflection can help.
If you recognize some of the signs of a struggling relationship in your own dynamic, know that all relationships have fluctuations. But when these happen more often and result in the relationship getting stuck or deteriorating, Dr. Manly says both partners need to help bring it back to life. “Many relationships succumb to a slow death, meaning they deteriorate over time in almost-imperceptible ways, when partners don’t prioritize the relationship in an ongoing way,” she says.
Relationships can be challenging and sometimes require work to maintain and improve. If you find yourself feeling disconnected from your partner or facing issues in your relationship, it may be time to take action. By implementing some key strategies and communication techniques, you can work towards fixing your relationship and building a stronger bond with your partner.
Identify the Root of the Problem
No matter how busy you are, take a few minutes each day to put aside your electronic devices, stop thinking about other things, and really focus on and connect with your partner. BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. Take the assessment and get matched with a therapist in as little as 48 hours.
Before you can begin to fix your relationship, it’s important to identify the underlying issues that are causing strain. Take the time to reflect on what may be contributing to the problems in your relationship and have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your concerns.
Self reflection is important to understand your own role, and communication is key in rebuilding a one-sided relationship. To cultivate empathy, actively listen to your partner without judgment. Pay attention to their words, tone, and body language, and try to understand the emotions behind them. Reflect back what you hear to show that you truly understand and validate their feelings. This creates a safe space for open communication and encourages your partner to be vulnerable.
Communicate Effectively
Nonverbal cues, which include eye contact, tone of voice, posture, and gestures such as leaning forward, crossing your arms, or touching someone’s hand, communicate much more than words. Couples can be endlessly creative in their defensive accusations. Ken Blanchard advises, “catch them doing things right” and praise their efforts. Marriages, friendships, and other intimate relationship difficulties are often reversed using these strategies. Prioritizing self-care enables you to turn inward when you need validation or a self-esteem boost rather than relying on others.
Communication is key in any relationship. Make sure to listen actively to your partner’s thoughts and feelings, and express your own in a clear and respectful manner. Avoid blaming or criticizing each other, and focus on finding solutions together.
- Set aside dedicated time for meaningful conversations.
- Practice active listening skills.
- Be open and honest with each other.
Seek Professional Help
If you’re struggling to resolve issues on your own, consider seeking the help of a couples therapist or counselor. A neutral third party can provide valuable insights and guidance to help you navigate through your challenges and work towards a healthier relationship.
- Research therapists or counselors in your area.
- Schedule an initial appointment to discuss your concerns.
- Commit to attending regular sessions to address your relationship issues.
By taking proactive steps to address the root of your relationship problems, practicing effective communication, and seeking professional help when needed, you can work towards fixing your relationship and fostering a deeper connection with your partner. Remember that relationships require effort and commitment from both parties, but with dedication and patience, you can overcome obstacles and build a stronger, more fulfilling partnership.
