At these times, you should apologize when it is the appropriate thing to do. Tell your spouse how you feel and that you don’t expect them to be perfect. To help you get your point across, it may be necessary to think about what you want to say. Taking some time to consider your words could be a major way to stop fighting in a relationship, and it could keep you from saying something you regret. Do your best to get your point across to your mate so you are able to stop arguing.
However, with a few strategies, stopping fighting and getting back on the right track may be possible. Therapy, whether in person or online, may be a valuable resource for resolving conflict and improving relationship health. Whether that answer is to stay together or move apart depends on what is learned. That said, if done well, a break can lead both people in the partnership to a better life independent of the outcome.
One way to turn a heated argument into a productive conversation may be to stop speaking and start listening to get a better understanding of your partner’s point of view. When one or both partners feel hurt, frustrated, or angry after a fight, wouldn’t it be nice to just hit a restart button? Unfortunately, you can’t erase an argument from your memory. However, you can take steps to repair it and move forward. When arguments happen, it’s easy to say or do the wrong thing and hurt one another.
The wrong choice of words can quickly worsen a fight and further strain relations with your partner. By speaking carefully during arguments, you allow yourself to be more intentional with getting your message across more clearly. While constant conflict is a serious red flag, learning how to disagree respectfully can actually be good for your relationship.
At the same time, you need to consider your partner’s point of view as well. There may be things that you do that upset them, which they are not saying anything about. When there is a reason to argue, it should be front and center while you discuss it.
These are some specific phrases you can use to help rebuild emotional trust with your partner. The type of argument it was, and your knowledge of your partner, should help you choose which of these is the best fit. At the end of the article, I’ll explain what makes these phrases special. Even when successful couples argue, they’re typically good at recovering and restoring emotional trust in each other shortly afterward. For example, partner A expresses to partner B that they need more help with household chores.
In The Seven Principles That Make Marriage Work, Dr. Gottman has a list of repair attempts that may feel unnatural at first but provide you the vocabulary to naturally repair conflict before it harms your marriage. I’d recommend starting with a low-intensity conflict when practicing repair attempts to help you resolve an issue in your marriage. Happy couples send and receive repair attempts with ease. In unhappy marriages, even amazing repair attempts fall on deaf ears.
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it’s how you handle it that can make or break the partnership. When a fight arises, it’s important to approach the situation with empathy and a willingness to listen. Here are some tips on how to effectively resolve conflicts and mend relationships:
1. Take a Break
When emotions are running high, it’s easy to say things you don’t mean. Take a breather and give each other space to cool off before trying to resolve the issue. This will help prevent saying hurtful words that can cause long-lasting damage.
2. Communicate Openly
Once both parties have had time to calm down, it’s essential to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings. Use “I” statements to express how you feel without blaming the other person. Listen actively to understand their perspective as well.
3. Find a Compromise
It’s crucial to find a middle ground that satisfies both parties. Understand that you may not always get your way, and be willing to compromise for the sake of the relationship. Finding solutions together can strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
4. Seek Professional Help
If communication continues to be a struggle or if issues persist, consider seeking the help of a relationship counselor. A neutral third party can provide guidance and tools to help improve communication and conflict resolution skills.
5. Practice Forgiveness
It’s essential to forgive and move past the conflict once a resolution has been reached. Holding onto resentment can erode trust and intimacy in the relationship. Learn from the experience and commit to continuing to work on the relationship together.
By following these steps and approaching conflicts with understanding and empathy, you can effectively fix fights in your relationship and build a stronger foundation for the future.
