How to Get Over a Long Relationship

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“If you were vulnerable enough to feel love and give love, then it was not a failure,” she says. You might be tempted to get over your ex as quickly as possible, but relationships don’t work this way, especially with someone you loved and cared for deeply (and maybe still do). Moving on will take time, patience, and conscious effort on your part.

Lizzie Duszynski-Goodman is a journalist living in the Midwest with her husband and two young children. Her work explores the intersection of mental health, wellness and parenting. She is the former managing editor of Pregnancy Magazine. When not behind her computer, you can find her on a yoga mat or with her nose in a good book.

The guilt and shame kept me single for almost a decade. BetterHelp makes professional therapy available anywhere through a computer, tablet, or smartphone. It is so worth making an effort to end your relationship with respect, care and consideration, if at all possible. Discover how it works and what would suit you most (such as “Ending a relationship”) in my article Hypnosis FAQ and Downloads.

Ending a long-term relationship can be one of the most challenging experiences in life. It’s important to allow yourself time to grieve and heal before moving on. Here are some strategies to help you navigate this difficult time.

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Give Yourself Permission to Feel

We provide a step-by-step process for reclaiming your old, happy self, and learning to love again. Letting go and moving on is the worst part of a relationship cycle. It can make you feel a lot of negative emotions—sadness, loneliness, depression, and a lot more. For a while after your breakup, it will feel alien being on your own again. Most relationships have good times and bad times, just like all of us have a mix of strengths and imperfections.

It’s okay to feel a range of emotions after a breakup – sadness, anger, confusion, relief. Allow yourself to experience these feelings without judgment. Remember that healing is a process, and it’s normal to have ups and downs along the way.

Focus on Self-Care

That’s exactly why you need to make a point of celebrating the small things you’re doing on your own. Even if it’s putting together some flat-pack furniture (without SCREAMING), going to the gym (it still counts if you chow down on pizza after), or cooking dinner on your own. These things might seem insignificant and mundane, but they’re not. Every little thing you do and achieve on your own is a total WIN, so make sure you pause to celebrate how well you’re doing. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.

And the thing about relationships is they often mean you unintentionally spend less time with friends and maybe even drift away from people you were once super close with. That person is no longer a significant part of your life. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions that arise during this time. In some failed relationships, partners endure a gradual decline of connection, intimacy, and affection, while in others, one or the other partner can identify moment when they knew it was over.

During this time of transition, it’s essential to prioritize self-care. This means taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Make sure you’re getting enough rest, eating nutritious foods, exercising regularly, and seeking support from friends and family.

Reflect on the Relationship

Take some time to reflect on the relationship and what you learned from it. Consider what worked well and what didn’t, and use this insight to inform future relationships. Remember that every relationship teaches us something valuable about ourselves.

Stay Connected with Loved Ones

Don’t isolate yourself during this time. Reach out to friends and family for support and companionship. Surrounding yourself with loved ones can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and provide a sense of community during this challenging period.

Seek Professional Help If Needed

If you find yourself struggling to cope with the end of your long-term relationship, don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counselor. Talking to a professional can provide you with the tools and resources you need to navigate this difficult time and move forward with confidence.

Remember, healing from a long-term relationship takes time, patience, and self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this challenging period, and trust that brighter days are ahead.

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