You may even want to write a letter to your ex expressing all your thoughts and feelings. The simple process of writing out how you feel as if you are talking to them is very healing on its own. These feelings are legitimate, and you have to allow yourself to feel them. Holding on to feelings of anger and resentment is exhausting. They contribute to the physical pain you are feeling. If you keep on feeling these negative emotions, they will have a detrimental effect on your health.
But when this effort is not reciprocated, it ends up hurting you even more. You may even find that the person you love has moved on and is spending time with another person, which can be devastating. Letting go and moving on is the worst part of a relationship cycle. It can make you feel a lot of negative emotions—sadness, loneliness, depression, and a lot more.
Breaking up with someone can be tough, especially when you’re still in love with them. It’s natural to feel a range of emotions like sadness, anger, and confusion. However, it’s important to remember that getting over her is possible and necessary for your own well-being.
Accept Your Feelings
At this point, time is the main thing that helped me move on. Over time you forget about the good memories that were keeping you tied to that person. After a while, you just stop having feelings for them because you are occupied with other things and meeting new people. Seek out a counselor or therapist to talk things through.
He apologized for everything and agreed to stay out of my life. Just laying it all out there, really, was the key point. I’m not normally one to be so direct, but I felt like I couldn’t move on unless I did (especially if he’d keep texting).
Either way, know that you do have the tools to recover from heartbreak. You may also want to consider searching for a therapist who specializes in relationship issues or in the case of a married couple, divorce recovery, says Amias. These professionals will have specific experience guiding clients through this particular type of grief, she adds. In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross created the grief cycle model, which described the way in which her patients processed news of their own terminal illnesses.
It’s important to acknowledge and accept your feelings after a breakup. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and feel whatever emotions come up. Trying to suppress your feelings will only prolong the healing process.
Cut Off Contact
In order to move on from a past relationship, it’s crucial to cut off contact with your ex. This means unfollowing them on social media, deleting their number, and avoiding places where you might run into them. Keeping in touch will only make it harder to get over her.
If you have a pattern of moving from crush to crush, try looking at what lies behind this. Immediately redirecting unrequited feelings toward someone else unlikely to return them isn’t the most helpful path to moving on. Telling your crush how you feel is generally a judgment call on your part. If you’re close friends, you might worry about losing their friendship and decide to wait for the crush to pass. A friendship built on the mindset of, “Well, if we can’t date, I guess friendship is the next best thing,” may not work out. If you go into the friendship secretly hoping they’ll eventually like you back, you might both end up hurting in the end.
Alternately, if your ex contacts you, especially before you’re ready to talk, don’t feel obligated to respond. This can be difficult, especially if they seem vulnerable or express feelings similar to your own. Remind yourself that you both need time and space to deal with those difficult emotions and wait until the no-contact period has passed. “I saw myself go into a spiral for weeks after my breakup.
Focus on Yourself
Use this time to focus on yourself and your own well-being. Take up a new hobby, spend time with friends and family, or invest in self-care activities. Rediscovering who you are outside of the relationship will help you heal and grow.
Seek Support
Don’t be afraid to lean on your support system during this difficult time. Talk to friends, family members, or a therapist about your feelings. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you will provide comfort and perspective as you navigate the healing process.
FAQs
- How long will it take to get over her?
There is no set timeline for getting over someone. Everyone heals at their own pace, so be patient with yourself.
- Is it okay to still have feelings for my ex?
It’s normal to still have feelings for your ex after a breakup. Just remember to prioritize your own well-being and focus on moving forward.
- Should I stay friends with my ex?
It’s generally best to give yourself space from your ex before considering a friendship. Time apart will allow both of you to heal and move on.
