Perhaps they are more like your best friend, family member, roommate, teammate, co-worker, or an obligation. Those are great aspects to have in your relationship, but viewing each other as a source and expression for your romantic pleasure is needed to keep the spark alive. When a couple tells me they’re not super open about the mundane and pivotal parts of their respective lives, it’s a huge sign that the relationship has probably been on the outs for some time. In my work as a relationship coach, I’ve observed once you’ve stopped confiding in your partner, it’s likely you’ve also stopped craving physical and emotional intimacy with them, too. Emotional intimacy is what keeps people connected and invested in a relationship.
Activities like exercise, mindfulness, and hobbies are not necessarily just leisurely pastimes but essential tools that can aid in the healing process. Investing in activities and relationships that bolster well-being can be essential to effectively utilize the space and time now available. Building a support system of friends and family who offer understanding and support can provide solace and insight.
At one point, you are sure that your partner cares about you, while you think that they’ll leave you the next minute. You’re always overthinking things that happen outside of you and never stop to reflect on what’s going on inside of you and how you feel. When you need to find out what your partner meant in their latest text, you send a screenshot to your friends. You always consult with your friends about your relationship and seek their advice. In fact, they are a bit tired of hearing about it, but they still offer some advice.
“They are physically together, but emotionally feel alone and disconnected. It is a silent sigh that the relationship is unfortunately headed south unless they reach out for professional help.” One study found that people felt a sense of loss of their own identity after the end of a romantic relationship because they had invested so much of themselves in the partnership. Worrying about who you are without your partner is normal, and the anxiety may start once you notice signs your relationship is about to be over. Because your relationship is a partnership between the two of you, you create a new self-concept of yourself with your partner than you had before the relationship.
It’s never easy to come to terms with the fact that a relationship may be reaching its end, but sometimes it’s necessary for our own well-being. If you’re wondering how do I know when my relationship is over, there are several signs to look out for.
1. Lack of Communication
Communication is key in any relationship, and when it starts to break down, it can be a red flag that things are not going well. If you find yourselves constantly arguing or avoiding difficult conversations, it may be a sign that your relationship is on shaky ground.
It’s a sign your relationship is over if you’ve taken to openly criticizing them when they do something that gets under your skin, because you don’t feel like biting your tongue. Regardless of what’s causing a disconnect in your relationship, it’s never an easy situation to find yourself in. If you’re still in love and want your bond to last, you might seek counseling to better communicate and understand each other. All relationships have their obstacles—so if you’re certain your partner is “the one,” try finding new ways to get past conflicts in a healthy way for you both. While it’s normal to fantasize about other people, desires can be harmful when they minimize the importance of sex with your partner.
But when your partner isn’t being particularly needy and yet you still find it so tiresome to be around them, that is often a sign that the dynamic between the two of you is souring significantly. Your partner should not have to be your only cheerleader, and there may be plenty of types of news—an amazing bargain on that item you wanted! —that you naturally share with another friend first, perhaps because that friend has a mutual interest or is closer to the situation. Feel like you’re pretty much on your own, even when you’re spending time with your S.O.? “This is the biggest concern I see with the couples who come to see me,” says Irina Baechle, LCSW, a relationship therapist and coach.
Start some personal projects that are going to take you where you want to be in life and focus on other things besides your love life. Dedicate more time and energy to your career, but also make sure to do more of the things that make you happy. Pamper yourself and show yourself self-love, but also make sure to dedicate some time to self-improvement. It’s easy to spend a lot of time on imaginary scenarios and on entertaining intrusive, negative thoughts when you have a lot of free time on your hands.
2. Loss of Trust
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you find yourself questioning your partner’s honesty or if they have broken your trust in a major way, it can be very difficult to rebuild that trust and move forward together.
3. Constant Negativity
If you find that you and your partner are constantly criticizing each other or focusing on the negative aspects of your relationship, it may be a sign that it’s time to reevaluate whether this is the right partnership for you.
4. Lack of Intimacy
Intimacy is an important part of a romantic relationship, and when it starts to fade away, it can be a sign that the emotional connection between you and your partner is also slipping away. If you find that you no longer feel close to your partner or don’t enjoy physical intimacy, it may be time to consider whether the relationship is still fulfilling for both of you.
5. You Feel Unhappy
Ultimately, one of the clearest signs that a relationship may be over is if you find yourself feeling consistently unhappy or unfulfilled. Your emotional well-being should be a top priority, and if being in the relationship is causing you more pain than joy, it may be time to consider moving on.
Remember, every relationship is unique, and only you can truly know what is best for you. If you’re unsure about the state of your relationship, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate this difficult decision.
