Having a secret sex partner can add an element of excitement and adventure to your love life. The clandestine nature of the relationship can make it feel more intense and forbidden, heightening the pleasure and desire between you and your partner.
Even faking an orgasm is a form of a secret, the secret being the person did not have the response they feigned to have. He has a very high drive (I would estimate my own at “average”) and, based on what little porn he has been willing to share with me, he enjoys rougher sex than I do. I also don’t like to give head or do anything outside what would be considered “vanilla.” He has never complained or made demands… and yet, I have always felt guilty. He is an attentive and talented lover, and I have always struggled with feeling like I’m letting him down in the bedroom. While partners such as yours can cause a knee-jerk reaction, I hope you can see past the headlines (sex, multiple partners, sex parties) to the man behind all this and see if he is someone you want. You mention a lot of good things in your longer letter and I hope that is not you just glossing over things.
Contrary to the general beliefs, girls in Bangkok approach relationships seriously as they tend to marry in their mid-20s. Thai girls generally have a respectful and polite nature. In fact, it’s rare for them to express negative feelings in public as they’re regularly cheerful.
The Allure of Secrecy
The thrill of sneaking around and keeping your relationship hidden can create a sense of mystery and intrigue. The secrecy can make you feel like you’re participating in something taboo and risqué, which can be incredibly arousing.
The excitement of someone you thought you’d never have sex with again consenting to one more (or several more) hookups can certainly be overwhelming. Whether you were the dumpee or the dumper, engaging post-breakup sex can also seem incredibly tantalizing — it’s a bad idea, but you’re both doing it anyway, choosing your sex drives over your emotional wellbeing. It can be a lot of fun to explore the sexual side of a friendship that had thus far been platonic — and a potential gateway to a full-fledged relationship, if you both decide you want more at some point. Since you already know and care for each other, that can make the sex more meaningful and the interactions less awkward.
She accused me of being selfish in bed and I retorted, ‘Selfish! You’re never satisfied, that’s your problem.’ We were in counseling for months after that. On the other hand, confessing in anger that you had a brief liaison with his or her best friend before the wedding only causes pain. Revenge is not a good motive for sharing a sexual secret. People may withhold sexual information out of fear of rejection, too. They may be anxious about their fantasies or desires and project that anxiety on the partner who, they fear, couldn’t possibly love them if the truth were known.
Spicing Things Up
Both played with orchestras around the country; Kizer spent several years with the Seattle Symphony. In 2014, she and her husband divorced, and a few years later she settled in St. Louis. She and Stewart had stayed in touch over the years, and eventually they started dating. Stewart told me she believed that Kizer’s tenure bid, like hers, had been derailed by the accusations she made against Muckey. In September, Kizer and her husband attended a get-together with a few other members of the orchestra.
Yes…If kissing has escaped from your bag of sexual tricks—bring it back, fast! Extra points if you can build anticipation by kissing in a place where you can’t readily get naked. When people describe the traits they want in a romantic partner, honesty usually comes in near the top of the list. However, even though we want partners who will always tell us the truth, many of us hide things in our relationships, especially about our sex lives.
Having a secret sex partner can also help spice up your sex life. The need to be discreet can lead to trying out new and exciting ways to connect with your partner, making your encounters even more thrilling and satisfying.
Overall, having a secret sex partner can bring a sense of excitement and passion to your love life that may be lacking in a traditional relationship. Just remember to always prioritize honesty and communication with your partner to ensure that everyone involved is on the same page.
