Have you found yourself asking, “why is my relationship so hard?” If so, you are not alone. Many couples experience challenges and difficulties in their relationships that can make things feel overwhelming. Here are some reasons why your relationship may be feeling particularly tough:
This is where remote counseling from platforms like BetterHelp comes in. It also offers lower pricing than in-person therapy because online therapists don’t have to pay for costs like renting an office. If you’ve experienced an unhealthy relationship that involves abuse or mistreatment, seeking help from a licensed mental health professional can be beneficial to your mental health. The best and healthiest relationships are those in which partners are committed to their personal growth and development—their sense of personal fulfillment and meaning outside gained experiences.
Communication Issues
One of the most common reasons why relationships become difficult is due to communication issues. Poor communication can lead to misunderstandings, arguments, and feelings of disconnect between partners. It’s crucial to address communication problems early on and work on improving how you communicate with each other.
Lack of Trust
Lack of trust can also make a relationship feel hard. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and when it’s lacking, it can lead to insecurity, jealousy, and conflicts. Building trust takes time and effort from both partners, but it’s essential for the relationship to thrive.
Different Values and Goals
Making a relationship strong requires effort from both, but with dedication it can be a fulfilling experience. This purpose of this checklist is not to score your relationship or your partner, but to raise issues that you may need to address personally and talk openly about with him or her. Many of these relationship problems revolve around lack of healthy, assertive communication — communication that is open, direct, respectful, honest, and personal. You should dedicate some time to self-improvement if you have a difficult personality. Don’t make it harder for people to like you by distrusting them, manipulating them, or acting like you’re better than them.
Ricco and Sierra were particularly interested in contrasting anxious and avoidant attachment styles as predictors of the type of tactic individuals would be most likely to use in conflict. Further, conflict beliefs were predicted to influence this predictive relationship. The difficult individual would, according to this framework, most likely have a dismissive or avoidant attachment style. You can never get close to such individuals because they constantly put up barriers that prohibit you from becoming close to them. And you can’t see through the crusty exterior they’ve created because they’ve learned not to let their inner, vulnerable selves show through.
The longer you go without extended solitary periods, the greater the chance that you’ll become weary of the company your partner provides and the more likely you are to find them irritating. Only, when a relationship reaches a certain stage, this alone time becomes more limited. You hold your partner’s hand with one hand and carry your baggage in the other. So when you join together with another human being to form a partnership, you have to accept that their past is coming with them, just as your past is coming with you.
It’s hard because you’ll be going against your genetic programming. In your mind, your partner will be the ‘other person’ you shouldn’t favor over your family. The interaction between two individuals often leads to conflicts, disagreements, and the need for compromise. This process of self-reflection and adaptation can be uncomfortable, but it is essential for personal growth and the growth of the relationship itself. For issues such as these, speak to a certified and experienced mental health therapist.
Another reason why your relationship may be difficult is if you and your partner have different values and goals. Misaligned values can cause tension and disagreements in various aspects of the relationship, such as finances, career aspirations, or family planning. It’s important to have open and honest conversations about your values and goals to see if there is room for compromise.
FAQs
How can I improve communication in my relationship?
- Practice active listening
- Express your thoughts and feelings openly
- Avoid blaming or criticizing your partner
What should I do if I don’t trust my partner?
- Communicate your concerns and work on rebuilding trust together
- Consider seeking couples therapy to address trust issues
- Set boundaries and expectations to help rebuild trust
By addressing these common issues and working together with your partner, you can start to understand why your relationship is so hard and take steps towards strengthening your bond.
