Who Should I Marry?

Relationship

Married couples can exclude up to $500,000 in capital gains on the sale of a home as long as at least one spouse has owned the home and both have lived in it for two out of the five years before the sale. For an unmarried couple to qualify for up to $500,000 of tax-free profit, both individuals must be on the deed and have owned and lived in the home for two of the five years before the sale. If only one meets that standard, the exclusion is capped at $250,000. Those prerogatives are among the reasons same-sex couples have sought the legal right to marry, just as some opposite-sex couples are choosing not to tie the knot. If you’re contemplating either marriage or just moving in together, put romance aside long enough to consider these issues.

Choosing a life partner is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. It’s natural to have doubts and questions about who you should marry, but ultimately, only you can answer that question. Here are some factors to consider when deciding who to spend the rest of your life with:

When our experts say you should feel comfortable with anyone you might see as future spouse, they don’t mean you can wear your sweatpants in front of him or her. “When someone is fully comfortable with his or her romantic partner, he or she feels safe, honored, and respected,” explains Janelle Alex, Ph.D., transpersonal counselor. The person you marry should be a person who you trust so much that you feel like you could tell them anything. If you feel like you must hide things about your past or personality, this could be a sign you’re dating the wrong person.

I’m not the best at relationships, and truth be told, I have some fairly crappy qualities. I’m moody, I get stressed very easily, and I tend to lose sight of basic necessities like eating and hydrating when I’m focused on something. Another risk of getting married too young is that it doesn’t give you much opportunity to explore your options.

You might always have a person to share everything in your life with. Your significant other ideally will always be there to share all the parts such as happiness, mood swings, work troubles, life hardships, etc. They will not only listen but will also provide you with a different perspective. Reflect on your readiness for such commitment and communicate openly with your partner. Ultimately, the choice should align with your feelings, circumstances, and aspirations.

Compatibility

There are a number of different factors that will impact whether or not you and the person you’re dating should begin to consider marriage. Communication skills and styles, how well your overall values align, and the ability to work together as a team are just some of the many things to think about before accepting an engagement. While a successful marriage can occur at any point in life, there are some ages that the experts agree are more conducive to a harmonious partnership. In that context, around 40 percent of American marriages end in divorce. In 2021, 25 percent of 40-year-olds had never married (compared to just 20 percent in 2010).

One of the most crucial aspects to consider when choosing a life partner is compatibility. Are your values, goals, and beliefs aligned? Do you have similar interests and hobbies? It’s important to find someone who shares your core values and can support you in achieving your dreams.

That may seem roughly compatible for day-to-day life, but often things change, and nuances are important. Will you expect to start going to places of worship once you have children? Does your religious expression change when your extended family is around or in times of crisis? What happens if one of you simply starts becoming more or less religious than they were before? Sure, problems with substance abuse and gambling can crop up unexpectedly in a marriage, as we sometimes see when new casinos come to town. But all too often, the signs of potential problems with alcoholism or addiction were there all along but were willfully not talked about or even acknowledged — perhaps out of fear or denial.

Communication

Effective communication is key to a successful marriage. You should be able to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your thoughts, feelings, and needs. Make sure you choose someone who listens to you and respects your opinions.

Trust

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. You should feel secure and confident in your partner’s love and commitment to you. Trust takes time to build, so make sure you choose someone who is trustworthy and reliable.

FAQs

How do I know if someone is the right person to marry?

  • Look for qualities such as kindness, empathy, and mutual respect.
  • Consider how they handle conflicts and challenges.
  • Listen to your gut feeling – if something doesn’t feel right, it may be a red flag.

Is it okay to have doubts before getting married?

  • It’s normal to have doubts and fears before making such a big decision.
  • Take the time to address your concerns and talk them over with your partner.
  • If you still have doubts, it might be worth exploring further before committing to marriage.

Ultimately, the decision of who you should marry is a personal one that only you can make. Take the time to get to know yourself and what you truly want in a partner. Trust your instincts and choose someone who makes you happy and brings out the best in you.

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